Fred Meyer and the Holiday Creep

As I was in the local Freddy's last week, I noticed a few "Celtic" CDs. I decided to let it pass; who am I to judge on one's choice of ethnic music, and the assumption that listening to the pipes and drum is in any way associated with the celebration of St. Patrick's day is, frankly, racist. But, much to my dismay, two days before the Feast of St. Valentine, Fred has seen fit to display unambiguous EASTER BASKETS. No, photo, alas; I was without my camera. No worry, the offending display will still stand when I return, usurping two holidays and perpetuating the "hurry-up" nature of modern society.

Oh, yeah, I'm back

I was at Ross today and as I passed a green-and-white display of St. Patrick's Day candy and leprechaun-embroidered hand towels, I thought "Gee, I wish I was still writing the blog so that I could comment on my least favorite phenomenon of our consumer culture." Well, here I am, commenting on my least favorite phenomenon of our consumer culture. One holiday at a time please, people. As much as I dislike St. Valentine's Day, I want everyone to spend their hard-earned money on overpriced roses, red lingerie, and overly sweet chocolates before they turn their attentions to plastic bowler hats and green beer.

That's it. That's all the outrage I can muster for today, but the bile, she's a rising. Even though there is the promise of hope and change in the air, we still are in a war, the economy is crap, and I'm back to being single. Yep, the typing will come fast and furious in the months to come. Right after I finish watching this episode of NCIS.

Happy Holidays

Aah, Christmas-Size Toblerone and his "Mini-Me"

In my world there are "candy holidays" and "liquor holidays." Easter, St. Valentines Day, Hanukkah; candy holidays. New Years' Eve, St. Patrick's Day, Independence Day; liquor holidays. Halloween-"bonus holiday"-best of both worlds! I define a holiday as a candy holiday if there is a dedicated candy that corresponds to that day. Until I see a foil-wrapped Liberty Bell, we will just have to continue to mix M80s and Miller on Independence Day. Christmas is special because it has both unique candy (I'm looking at you 14.1 oz Toblerone) and alcoholic drinks associated with it. Foil wrapped Coins of the World washed down with a bit of Christmas Eve champagne? Yes, please! Christmas breakfast consisting solely of a foot-long peppermint stick and a mug of 'nog? Don't mind if I do. Celebrate the birth of our Lord by consuming copious amounts of sugar and alcohol! Feliz Navidad!

Here's a recipe for Candied Cherries in Vanilla Brandy to start you on your way:
Prick the skins of 1 1/2 pounds of cherries with a fine skewer. Heat 1 1/2 cups sugar with 1/2 cup each of brandy and water in a pan, stirring until all the sugar has dissolved. Add the cherries and a vanilla bean and heat until boiling. Place the cherries and syrup in a heatproof, warmed, sterilized jar; seal while hot and invert for 2 minutes. Store in a cool place for 6 weeks, turning every couple of days for the first 2 weeks. Serve the cherries in the liqueur on their own or over vanilla ice cream. Refrigerate after opening. Fills a 32 oz jar.

When Marketing Goes Horribly Wrong

One of the great pleasures in life is discount shopping-one of the many truths the universe has revealed to me that that retail is for suckers. Today I was perusing the local Ross, looking for gloves, pillows, knee socks, and a cookie sheet. So of course my cart was loaded up with dishes, candles, towels and lots of other junk I didn't need when I saw it; Hummer Body Wash. Two thoughts came to mind:

1. there's no way that even the most creative person riffing on the absurdity of contemporary American culture would be able to think this one up and
2. Oh, jeez, the blog is back up and running tonight!!

Most of you could probably guess how I feel about Hummers and the people who drive them, but if there is any doubt in your mind about what I think, here it is. I think they're (both the vehicle and its operator) stupid. The fact that a person thinks they need to drive a civilian version of a COMBAT vehicle is just completely mental. And I can hear you out there right now; "Well, what about a Jeep, Miss Smarty Pants?" Well, kiddos, different war, different rules. You look cool in a Jeep, you look like a tool in a Hummer, especially the yellow ones. Also, a Jeep doesn't take a month's rent to gas up. One of my (un)lucky friends will find the scent of hot rubber and desperation in his stocking this year in place of the lump of coal. Maybe I will just save it for the Old Town White Elephant gift giveaway. I think it would be a hit. Anyway, great to be back, ranting away.

What You Learn in the New York Times

http://drecosby.ytmnd.com/
I think I have brain damage. You the man now dog.

You Can't Go Home Again

With all apologies to Thomas Wolfe, I have been reflecting on the past and my unwavering fondness for it. In light of my mother's impending trip to India, my single status, and general rootlessness, I have been waxing nostalgic for those halcyon days of my youth. Trouble is, they kinda sucked. Sour grapes, yes; for I was relatively well liked in school, made reasonable grades, had all of my cares (and most of my wants) taken care of. That said, I was also paralyzed with fear-procrastinating even the simplest of tasks rather than screwing up. I recently had the occasion to see a friend from college who reminded me that the hard realities of the past are often worn down by the passage of time into soft, fuzzy-colored memories that portray every thing as infinately better than the present. I resolve to emerge from the 'summer of my discontent' if not a more optimistic person, then one who has a more realistic perspective and lower expectations of life.

Rejuveniles-R-Us

After yesterday's "Talk of the Nation" I conteplated my 'grup' status. Besides my non-traditional job, I think that my taste in music most betrays my Peter Pan syndrome. Although MTV:Original Flavor rarely shows videos, I have MTV2, MTVJams, MTVHits, Vh1, Vh1Soul, VH1Classic, and Fuse. Summer pop music is invading my brain!! My faves: Rihanna "S.O.S" and "Unfaithful", Gnarls Barkley "Crazy", Christina Aguilera "Ain't No Other Man", Shakira (featuring Wyclef Jean) "Hips Don't Lie." Please don't judge too harshly; I still bust out my highschool music-I have a feeling that I will be an 80-year-old woman, rocking out to "The Cure" in my flowered housecoat!