Food and Shoes

Fred Meyer and the Holiday Creep

2009-02-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

As I was in the local Freddy's last week, I noticed a few "Celtic" CDs. I decided to let it pass; who am I to judge on one's choice of ethnic music, and the assumption that listening to the pipes and drum is in any way associated with the celebration of St. Patrick's day is, frankly, racist. But, much to my dismay, two days before the Feast of St. Valentine, Fred has seen fit to display unambiguous EASTER BASKETS. No, photo, alas; I was without my camera. No worry, the offending display will still stand when I return, usurping two holidays and perpetuating the "hurry-up" nature of modern society.

Oh, yeah, I'm back

2009-01-31T21:33:00.000-08:00

I was at Ross today and as I passed a green-and-white display of St. Patrick's Day candy and leprechaun-embroidered hand towels, I thought "Gee, I wish I was still writing the blog so that I could comment on my least favorite phenomenon of our consumer culture." Well, here I am, commenting on my least favorite phenomenon of our consumer culture. One holiday at a time please, people. As much as I dislike St. Valentine's Day, I want everyone to spend their hard-earned money on overpriced roses, red lingerie, and overly sweet chocolates before they turn their attentions to plastic bowler hats and green beer.

That's it. That's all the outrage I can muster for today, but the bile, she's a rising. Even though there is the promise of hope and change in the air, we still are in a war, the economy is crap, and I'm back to being single. Yep, the typing will come fast and furious in the months to come. Right after I finish watching this episode of NCIS.

Happy Holidays

2006-12-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

Aah, Christmas-Size Toblerone and his "Mini-Me"

In my world there are "candy holidays" and "liquor holidays." Easter, St. Valentines Day, Hanukkah; candy holidays. New Years' Eve, St. Patrick's Day, Independence Day; liquor holidays. Halloween-"bonus holiday"-best of both worlds! I define a holiday as a candy holiday if there is a dedicated candy that corresponds to that day. Until I see a foil-wrapped Liberty Bell, we will just have to continue to mix M80s and Miller on Independence Day. Christmas is special because it has both unique candy (I'm looking at you 14.1 oz Toblerone) and alcoholic drinks associated with it. Foil wrapped Coins of the World washed down with a bit of Christmas Eve champagne? Yes, please! Christmas breakfast consisting solely of a foot-long peppermint stick and a mug of 'nog? Don't mind if I do. Celebrate the birth of our Lord by consuming copious amounts of sugar and alcohol! Feliz Navidad!

Here's a recipe for Candied Cherries in Vanilla Brandy to start you on your way:
Prick the skins of 1 1/2 pounds of cherries with a fine skewer. Heat 1 1/2 cups sugar with 1/2 cup each of brandy and water in a pan, stirring until all the sugar has dissolved. Add the cherries and a vanilla bean and heat until boiling. Place the cherries and syrup in a heatproof, warmed, sterilized jar; seal while hot and invert for 2 minutes. Store in a cool place for 6 weeks, turning every couple of days for the first 2 weeks. Serve the cherries in the liqueur on their own or over vanilla ice cream. Refrigerate after opening. Fills a 32 oz jar.

When Marketing Goes Horribly Wrong

2006-12-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

One of the great pleasures in life is discount shopping-one of the many truths the universe has revealed to me that that retail is for suckers. Today I was perusing the local Ross, looking for gloves, pillows, knee socks, and a cookie sheet. So of course my cart was loaded up with dishes, candles, towels and lots of other junk I didn't need when I saw it; Hummer Body Wash. Two thoughts came to mind:

1. there's no way that even the most creative person riffing on the absurdity of contemporary American culture would be able to think this one up and
2. Oh, jeez, the blog is back up and running tonight!!

Most of you could probably guess how I feel about Hummers and the people who drive them, but if there is any doubt in your mind about what I think, here it is. I think they're (both the vehicle and its operator) stupid. The fact that a person thinks they need to drive a civilian version of a COMBAT vehicle is just completely mental. And I can hear you out there right now; "Well, what about a Jeep, Miss Smarty Pants?" Well, kiddos, different war, different rules. You look cool in a Jeep, you look like a tool in a Hummer, especially the yellow ones. Also, a Jeep doesn't take a month's rent to gas up. One of my (un)lucky friends will find the scent of hot rubber and desperation in his stocking this year in place of the lump of coal. Maybe I will just save it for the Old Town White Elephant gift giveaway. I think it would be a hit. Anyway, great to be back, ranting away.

What You Learn in the New York Times

2006-08-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

http://drecosby.ytmnd.com/
I think I have brain damage. You the man now dog.

You Can't Go Home Again

2006-07-25T17:12:00.000-07:00

With all apologies to Thomas Wolfe, I have been reflecting on the past and my unwavering fondness for it. In light of my mother's impending trip to India, my single status, and general rootlessness, I have been waxing nostalgic for those halcyon days of my youth. Trouble is, they kinda sucked. Sour grapes, yes; for I was relatively well liked in school, made reasonable grades, had all of my cares (and most of my wants) taken care of. That said, I was also paralyzed with fear-procrastinating even the simplest of tasks rather than screwing up. I recently had the occasion to see a friend from college who reminded me that the hard realities of the past are often worn down by the passage of time into soft, fuzzy-colored memories that portray every thing as infinately better than the present. I resolve to emerge from the 'summer of my discontent' if not a more optimistic person, then one who has a more realistic perspective and lower expectations of life.

Rejuveniles-R-Us

2006-07-12T12:03:00.001-07:00

After yesterday's "Talk of the Nation" I conteplated my 'grup' status. Besides my non-traditional job, I think that my taste in music most betrays my Peter Pan syndrome. Although MTV:Original Flavor rarely shows videos, I have MTV2, MTVJams, MTVHits, Vh1, Vh1Soul, VH1Classic, and Fuse. Summer pop music is invading my brain!! My faves: Rihanna "S.O.S" and "Unfaithful", Gnarls Barkley "Crazy", Christina Aguilera "Ain't No Other Man", Shakira (featuring Wyclef Jean) "Hips Don't Lie." Please don't judge too harshly; I still bust out my highschool music-I have a feeling that I will be an 80-year-old woman, rocking out to "The Cure" in my flowered housecoat!

Happy Birthday, George W?

2006-07-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

special edition...its linktastic!
Everyone has a birthday, right? Although it is hard to believe that George W was actually born and not found lying under some rock sixty years ago, it's not hard to imagine how he might spend his "special day." Will he kick back and watch some wholesome morally correct movie on the Disney Channel featuring Tia and Tamara Mowry who turn 28 today? Maybe he'll be cold kickin' it with Curtis Jackson, ahem, 50 Cent, a fellow teetotaler and wordsmith who celebrates his 31st today. While they are hanging out in the White House screening room, they could watch Moonlighting's Allyce Beasley, Miss DiPesto (52 today) or one of Geoffrey Rush's many wonderful movies (he's 55!) Knowing the Dub, the old Batman TV show (Featuring Burt Ward-61-as Robin) or anything featuring Ned Beatty (69) is more his speed. That guy's been in everything so Mr. Prez has a lot to choose from. Maybe he could just call Merv Griffin (81) and have him send over a reel of "greatest hits." After the entertainment, GW could arm wrestle Sly Stallone and see which of the two has made it to 60 in better shape. George's thoughts could turn to the philosophical, the ultimate question: is there anything after death? George could consult the Dalai Lama(71)and Della Reese. I know whose advice he'll take...Della's 'cause she's older (75)!

However the President spends his birthday, I hope and pray that this birthday gives him the wisdom and mellowness of age-making it to my next birthday may depend on it!

Happy Birthday, US of A!

2006-07-04T20:48:00.000-07:00

Independence Day, our nation's birthday. In solidarity with my enslaved ancestors, I worked today...people love ice cream on a summer day. I might as well exploit it! As far as nations go, we are in our adolescence and it shows. In the years to come, I hope we find maturity, self-restraint, and the ability to get along with our neighbors. Because we really know that the schoolyard bully is only acting out because he's unhappy with himself. Hope you have a safe celebration!!

The Case of Fred Meyer and His Extra-Speedy Calendar

2006-07-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

Fred Meyer. What an ambiguous relationship I have with this store. As some of you may recall, my first Portland apartment was on 20th Place, overlooking the Freddy's loading dock. Every morning at 4:30 the delivery trucks would begin their queue to unload. If the hissing of hydraulic brakes wasn't enough, my apartment would begin to fill with diesel exhaust. Only when I moved into my present apartment did I realize how important a night of uninterrupted sleep is to my outlook on life. Fred Meyer, although probably taking a decade off of my life through noxious fumes and REM deprivation also gave me life. Need food? Freddy's. New shower curtain? Freddy's. Tube socks, tires, wine, light bulbs, board games, furniture, CDs, lottery tickets, bulk spices? Yep. One stop shopping with a local flair. The truly curious thing about Fred Meyer though, is his Extra-Speedy calendar. "Holiday Creep" is an affliction among all retail establishments. No sooner do you return from the beach from a lovely New Year's party and St. Valentine's Day cards are in the stores. I accept that the wheel of capitalism needs its grease, but why is there a "Back to School" display when Portland Public Schools just got out on June 14th! While the idea is fresh in my head, I'll go to Fred's, buy $10 worth of school supplies and donate them to the PPS for a needy kid. I'm sure they will inform me that school doesn't until September 6th.

Nerdus Maximus

2006-07-02T16:29:00.000-07:00

After making gelato and getting the shop set up in the morning, I settle down to a tall glass of soda water and the NY Times crossword. Although I only complete the Monday and Tuesday puzzles, I still attempt the rest of the week. I also do the Oregonian's crossword which has elevated itself from little more than a repository for lame puns to a puzzle that is consistently challenging; although I do feel that it relies on overly long and obscure quotes to increase its level of difficulty. Will Shortz, the editor of the NY Times crossword puzzle and the guy who writes those puzzles on Sunday morning's NPR Weekend Edition has a new movie out; "Wordplay." Its a really engaging story about the competitors in the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament-socially awkward, yes, yet terribly passionate about competition and their recognition within their community. Check it out!

The Country Club

2006-06-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

The Arnold Palmer is one of the most brilliant drinks-Iced Tea and Lemonade, caffeine and sugar, bitter and sweet. The only thing that makes it better is the addition of bourbon; and the "Country Club" was born. I do have to say, that in all of its easy-drinking perfection, it may be a little too easy to drink-on an unseasonably hot day like those this week, the alcohol-sugar combination makes for a good alarm clock antidote. So raise a glass, or two, but go easy!!

In Praise of Hometowns

2006-06-12T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, thanks to Dad for the new computer...I can actually get this blog rolling! I just came back from Nikki and Andy's wedding in Kansas City-Congrats to the new couple!
Kansas City was hot and humid, but I really enjoy the small and local restaurants like Gates Barbeque, Topsy's Popcorn, and Napoleon Bakery.

Nothing to see here...

2006-04-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

My inaugural blog

2006-04-08T15:47:00.000-07:00

So, why a blog? I have been a diarist for a long time. I have been rather spotty with my writing in the last ten years due to an unfortunate incident where someone read my diary and used it against me. The lesson learned: stop writing. In the end, I realized that writing helps me more than it could possibly hurt. It is an external way to process my feelings and communicate more concicely than if I was speaking (I have a tendency to run on.) So, come back, read a little. It won't always be a naked confessional-I'll post my mini-obsessions and stuff I find cool. Japan photos will soon be posted!!